Tonight

Today is one of my kiddos birthday's and Election Day.  The 2 voters in our home voted early and today's focus has been on the birthday.  We enjoyed the birthday meals (kiddos in our house choose what we eat for the day on their birthday), did school (we homeschool and have for a few years), had a Barbie wedding (inspired by granddaughter), told the story of their first birthday (...years ago today I was...) and occasionally listened to news coverage.  Typically, birthdays are all about the birthday person, they plan the day for us.  I usually have things I do throughout the day but no other plans are made- it's the one day of the year that is all about that ONE person. :)

Obviously, over the last 26 years there have been times that my mind was split but rarely.  This was the first time it was on the news, on an election, on "the future of our country".  I knew there was nothing to see, to learn, I had told my kiddos there won't be a conclusion till the next day; I knew it.  But my mind was there.  That was new to me.  

This is not the first time I have experienced something new over the last 5 years in the "political" world but it caused me to reflect on how many I have had.  I am slightly ashamed -now- that I didn't always pay as much attention to that world.  I grew up with my father having a copy of the Thomas Jefferson Bible as well as the King James Version, quoting Founding Fathers, listening to NPR, watching the news and "discussing" the topics with the TV and radio.  He always challenged us to think.  

I was going through things from my childhood this summer.  I found some letters my father had written us, his children.  This is from one of the letters he wrote us "But the habit of critically thinking- of hearing, listening, evaluating and understanding- is very important. The United States of America is one of the most important things that humanity has ever done. It was built on the notion that all things should be free.... Freedom is thinking. There is no other way. Above all, I want my children to live freely."  This has stayed with me over these last months.  And honestly, probably stayed with me throughout my life, even if not consciously.  

There was a time, probably 15 years ago, when something was going on with our state governor and my father and I were talking on the phone.  I had no idea what he was talking about.  I still remember his voice as he said "Khriste May".  That was it.  That was when I realized I needed to be paying attention.  I justified it at the time that if I was homeschooling my kiddos (11, 5, 3 at the time) I needed to know so I could share it with them.  I still didn't like watching the news so I would read the newspaper.  And I grew from there.

Flash forward to 2015, I am still not able to coherently put all my thoughts together (I am hoping this can be a place to that, not just for myself but for others).  Then to 2018, talking with my daughter as she is going to vote for the first time.  Then 2020.  I share some of that time in the blog Why?.  Then, November 3rd, 2020, sitting on the couch, TV on in the background, with my daughter and the dog, as she colors, I type, pausing to note called states on our Electoral College Map printouts, everyone else in bed.  Wondering why this time is different.  Not just for me.  For everyone.  Wondering what it means for us, as a family, as a town, county, state, as a country, as humans, as members of the human race.  Wondering what it means for our world, our planet, our future.